Why Your Grandma Will Replace You With AI Before You Replace Her in a Nursing Home

Your grandmother's digital glow-up is happening faster than you can say "have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Let's cut the crap: while you're busy worrying about AI taking your job, your 78-year-old grandmother is learning to use Claude to write passive-aggressive emails to your HOA about the neighbor's "inappropriately trimmed" hedges.

The Silver Tsunami Is Riding the AI Wave

Turns out, the demographic most terrified of forgetting their Facebook password is absolutely crushing it in the AI adoption race. Why? Because they have something you don't: free time and decades of accumulated spite.

"No Harold, you don't need to thank the AI assistant after each question. Though I do admire your manners."

"I used to call my grandson when I couldn't figure out how to turn off caps lock," says Mildred, 82, from her surprisingly ergonomic home office setup. "Now I use AI to draft my complaint letters to the city council, manage my investment portfolio, and catfish romance scammers for fun. I haven't called him in months."

The Five Stages of AI Grief: From "What's a ChatGPT?" to "I've Made It My Emergency Contact"

For millennials and Gen Z, AI represents an existential threat to our overpriced degrees and mediocre job security. For Boomers, it's the personal assistant they've always deserved but could never afford. The cognitive dissonance is delicious.